Having a rough starting Monday turn into an opportunity to hear my eighty-four year old Mom speak so confidently that God is not only with her, but favors her, because they are 'close' due to daily personal prayer, lifted my heart to an entirely new rung on the faith ladder regarding the importance of personally connecting with God though prayer.
At a simple little ladies meeting at church last night, God provided another, to important to overlook, reason for me to press on in this shared, thirty day journey of intentional prayer.
As a matter of fact, he may have even boosted me so much that I've skipped a rung or two in that faith ladder.
With my thoughts of late being so insistent on my own sense of need to draw near to God through personal conversational type prayer, it sent me for a loop when the emphasized topic for the evening was none other than the fact that God himself, longs to know us. Did you read that correctly? Yes, yes, you did. I'm saying that the same God that spoke every beautiful thing into existence, longs to know us.
If you're anything thing like me, you can easily come up with at least a handful of reasons why you could surely cross your own name off of that list of those who God longs to know. Given even a second to doubt our worthiness to be of interest to God is probably the number one reason so many people neglect to ever personally seek the one who made them. How could anyone ever think that they are good enough that God would be even remotely interested in knowing them, much less longing to know them?
The only explanation I can come up with is that because he made us, he just wants to, no, longs to, not only know us but genuinely love us. We don't have to fix ourselves up or change a thing for him to want to know us because he sees us as we really are, inside, where it counts. It makes no difference what you have or who you know, where you've been or where you're going. It's not about us being good enough to seek him but completely about him being big enough, loving enough and generous enough as the creator of us that he earnestly longs to know us.
It's like we are by either the ones we've brought into this world, like our own kids or those we've invested in through marriage or friendship, we know these people, we love them beyond description and usually, we find ourselves wanting just a little more time to share with them. We long to know more fully, those we love.
Dear God,
I'm relieved to hear that you want to know me and, honestly, a little puzzled, too. I can think of a thousand reasons why I'm not worthy of your precious God time - there are so many hurting people in the world right now that have much more urgent and obvious needs. Still, in your huge capacity to care for all you've created, you long to know me.
I have a confession to make, God, hearing that you long for a relationship with me makes me feel so wonderful, so relieved because I can see that it isn't about me being important or good enough to grab your attention, but it's about how much you desire to know and enjoy the company of all you've created, which includes everybody, even scuffed up, me.
I'm sorry for all of the times I've ignored you. All of those days that I didn't make an effort to personally talk with you must have hurt you to the point of wanting to give up on me, but I'm so thankful that you haven't. I appreciate that you did hear my casual attempts at prayer, all of those be with them prayers on the run and the gratitude for needs you've provided and stuff like that. I'm sorry that I haven't been giving you more thoughtful and intentional time.
Today, I'm looking for all of the ways that you will let me understand you more clearly. I'll be watching for the ways that you show your desire to know me more - you can count on that. I definitely want to know you more. Something inside of me longs for you, too.
Thank you for watching over the kids. Sydney seemed to feel pretty good about the FCAT's on Tuesday and today she headed out for more testing with a confident smile on her sweet little face. Mike's having a tough time feeling well the last couple of days. I hate it when he's sick and I know that you probably hate it, too. Help him feel better, God. He has so many important decisions to make in these next few years, so, help him realize his unique purpose for being in this world and let him make choices using the part of his heart that I know you have entered. Help him to sense how precious he is, even when he's being a typical tough, teenage cookie.
Be with Iz at work - thankfully, he said yesterday went just fine. Thank you for the bits of freelance work that helps us make ends meet. Thank you for the paintings that have sold. Help me be better at all of that sort of thing and help the positive message of our artwork come through loud and clear because Iz and I want to create artwork that in one way or another gives joy and points directly to goodness that comes only from you.
Watch over my Mom, as I know that you are, and take care of everyone else that I love and care about, too. If I named them on this blogged prayer they might get mad. You know who I'm talking about about... there are so many names that crossed my mind just now and I know that you know every single person and that you long to hear from them, too. I pray that someday soon, God, you do.
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