Do, A New!

Most of the time, what we see is what we get.

Oftentimes, what we see is what we would like to be getting.

Other times, we are too stinking blinded by the warm and twinkly, sparkly lights to actually see anything much at all.

More often than we'd like to admit, we're basically sitting in the dark, as if at a standstill due to night blindness, and for some reason, we seem to prefer this diminishing darkness.  Sometimes we're like vampires, blinded by the light of a new day.

I'm talking about why we tend to stay in the comfort of the same old same old, doing the same old thing, watching the same old shows, eating the same old food and pretty much committing without ever thinking, to doing the same old thing again, tomorrow and the day after that, too.

Remember when Forest Gump said, "Life is like a box of chocolates_ you never know what you are going to get."  Let's face it, for many of us, that sounded like a thrill because instead of taking the plunge and diving into a box of delightfully exciting, mixed-box of confections, we're holding tightly to the same old box of chocolate covered cherries because that's what we know we like!

Nothing against chocolate covered cherries, but there are no surprises in a box filled row after predictable row, with chocolate covered cherries.

We're creatures of habit, or at least I can say for a fact, I am.  I must admit that I like chocolate covered cherries_ even those cheap ones you can buy at Walgreens.

(Ouch.)

Okay, I'll get to the point since I am the one pecking away at the keyboard right now even though I have a list of twenty or so same old things I'm supposed to be doing at this very moment.

Anyhow.

I'm finding myself at this point in my years (don't ask _  that's rude) getting real with both the good and bad of days gone by and unfortunately, I'm having to acknowledge that much of what has gone by has looked an awful lot like every other day before it.

Day in, day out_  lots and lots of the same.

Then, I get honest with myself and say,

"Is this what I want the tally page to look like at the end of my game? "  

"No", I declare, "not in the least!"

So, what's a girl, uh..., to do?

Well, for starters, here's a list of 26 possibilities:

A.   Turn over a new leaf.

B.   Embark on a new journey. 

C.   Paint a new picture. 

D.   Write a new story. 

E     Sing a new song.

F.    Listen to a new song.

G.   Pray a new prayer.

E.    Ask a new question.

G.   Discover  a new answer.

H.   Give a new effort.

I.    Invest in a new friendship.

J.    Reach out to a new neighbor.

K.  Believe in a new possibility.

L    Bury an old hatchet.

M.  Bury all hatchets once and for all.

N.   Brave a new adventure.

O.   Bite off a new challenge.

P.   Try a new workout.

Q.   Toss out that stuff at the tippy top of the closet.

R.   Read a new author.

S.   Sort through the bottom of that closet mess, too.

T.   Try a new recipe.

U.   Find a new inspiring tweeter to follow.

V.   Take a walk in a new park.

W.  Dance in the living room all by myself.

X.   Read a new comic strip and laugh at a new joke.

Y.   Drink a tall glass of water in a fancy glass and take a deep breath.

Z.   Try a new coffee at Starbucks.

Maybe, just maybe, I can wrestle with my same old twenty-four hour budget and
allow myself at least 15 minutes a day
to try something,
anything,
new.

How about you?

He Does

It was Monday night,  a few minutes after dinner and still just a little too early for Joe to start surfing the channels to catch his favorite pre-game antics.  We talked awhile and I mentioned I had DVR'd an interesting message by Author/Speaker John Eldredge.  You might be familiar with him from a popular book he wrote called Wild At Heart.

Anyhow, what I had heard him talk about had made a lasting impression, so naturally, I had to tell Joe.

He'd mentioned that we often only consult God with the big dramatic stuff like, should I marry this guy, buy this house, sell everything and go to China, take that new job?

Imagine talking to someone only about major decisions. Not much of a relationship, right?

He'd also said, the other side of that are those who ask God all sorts of things throughout the day, you know, typical life stuff like,
be with my kids as they go through their day...
help me figure out how to make ends meet...
make all of my aches and pains go away, please?

We ask God about big and small things and we expect answers and then when whatever we've asked comes to be or not to be, based on outcome, we evaluate as to whether God actually heard us, or not. Usually, we base our belief regarding God's listening/answering skills on whether or not things turned out like we had wanted, all the while questioning, does He really hear me?

You get the idea.

John's message was this,  if you are wondering if God hears you and are wondering if you can actually hear back from God in response, try this for yourself.

There's a simple question to ask.

In order to find out for yourself if God does, in fact, hear you and not only hears you, but talks back, try this simple prayer.

In the quietness of your heart, ask this question, "Jesus, do you love me?"

Go ahead.  Be quiet with your thoughts for a few minutes and ask the question.

"Jesus, do you love me?"
Did you hear Him?  He does.
Pretty cool, right?
The Creator of the Universe picks up His calls.

Below is a link to one of my all time favorite Tommy Walker songs done in a James Taylor-ish, Dillon-ish, unplugged style.  The video is a little rough but the verses that are shown at the opening of the song are empowering. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBmtGSuw04Y

Crash, Burn or Not

Remember This? 

          Al and Tipper Gore announce separation...

The high school sweethearts, married for 40 years, say it's 'a mutual and mutually supportive decision. Friends and associates seem shocked.  

Reporting from Washington — — They were the happy exceptions — high school sweethearts whose passionate romance led to a famously stable marriage in a capital perpetually rocked by tawdry scandals and sleazy affairs.

But less than a month after they marked their 40th wedding anniversary, former Vice President and Nobel Peace Prize laureate Al Gore and his wife, Tipper, announced they were breaking up.   From June 02, 2010|By Bob Drogin and Kathleen Hennessey, Los Angeles Times 

Sure, it's been a few months since this bit of news burst my bubble but I'll never forget that pit in my stomach feeling after first reading about the separation of Al and Tipper Gore.  Maybe I'm alone here, but a separation after 40 years of marriage just seems soooo tragic.  I mean, that's a really long time.

I can't help but ask myself, were they ever really happy during those forty years or was it all just a matter of convenience, appearances or routine?

Whatever the reason, this particular separation news sincerely left me incredibly disappointed.

F o r t y  y e a r s  of togetherness ending in an I don't want to do this anymore parting of the ways has me scanning through my own blissful marital years and rating each one on a scale of 1 to 10, a bit like I tend to rate each consecutive daring bout on my favorite thrill ride, The Hulk, a twisting, looping roller coaster at Universal Studios Island of Adventure's Theme Park, here in Orlando.

Just hearing that such a seemingly perfect, and dare I say, down right picturesque looking couple losing control of the big round wheel, veering over way too far and blowing out a tire after so many years of keeping it on the road, well,  a fairly happily married person such as myself can't help but be a little shaken, can they?  What exactly does this sort of so far into it type of failed marriage stuff mean for the naive little creatures like me who just recently did a fully evolved happy dance in celebration of my comparatively brief but definitely significantly triumphant twenty-two year marital run?

Allow me to clarify, I'm not a bumper sticker blazing, Gore-Groopy or anything.  I originally just made a mental note of the couple because they had appeared to be genuinely united, close, you know, admirably devoted through thick and thin alike.   Heck, didn't I even see them together on Oprah just a short while ago?  That's some serious couple history.  If I'm remembering correctly, together they've managed the depths of grief, weathered the waves of personal loss, illness, political defeat, public scrutiny and somehow amazingly never seemed to allow any of it to stop them from moving ahead as a team_ until now, or, so it seemed.

Mostly I'm thinking that this should remind me that everything in life must be approached one day at a time.  

If today is good, then, by all means celebrate it and if today isn't what you'd like it to be, well, I'll get to that in a minute, but do, do, do celebrate the good days that you get when you get them_ d o n 't  
w a i t!

Next,  I'm thinking that maybe I'm suppose to be sure to pay close attention to both the small and large stuff that each day at a time brings because, eventually, everything counts.

Sometimes, I must admit, I don't want to deal with so much stuff so I find a quick and easy way to put it away,  trying my best to keep the playing field tidy_ Joe and I both tend to prefer a tidy field, certifiable neat freaks that we are, and all.  But seriously, if someone can cram a closet to the brim and overflow a fridge and pantry to the degree that I seem to accomplish in my effort of at least maintaining a tidy-ish looking field, my thinking being that what you can't see at least can't trip you, well, I'm  no PHD or anything, but I'm guessing that same someone could quite possibly cram potentially toxic feelings and frustrations away just as well as the next 'happy-clam'  and, from what I'm understanding Dr. Phil and all of the many other published marriage counselors of the world to be saying at the moment, cramming unaddressed emotions away is bad,  r e a l  b a d.

So, out with it, I say, get those thoughts and feelings out of cold storage and pay attention to the good and bad that is happening right now rather than stuffing it away in an already full closet of unmentionables or avoiding it via any other get your life organized and looking good on the outside, issue skipping, keep my life looking as rich and fulfilling as the Jones - method of choice.

Finally, maybe more than anything else, I am no longer under the illusion that either Joe or myself are psychic.

I am responsible to make my thoughts, feelings needs and everything else hiding in the bathwater known to my partner in life just like he is the only one who can let me know how all of the everyday life stuff is honestly jiving with him.  LIke I've said, this whole Al and Tipper thing caught me totally off guard, so, as well as I think I may know this guy I've been living with for the past 22 years, I must hereby confess, super powers or not, I cannot read his mind.  That reality unveiled, I recognize that I must make every effort to keep the lines of good ol' communication, open.  Concerns left unspoken in marriage are as lethal as a secret diet of daily Big Macs.  Eventually it all comes out and, oh brother, just like the waistline of a daily Mac eater, it can be ugly.

Like I typically reflect following nearly all of my fear defying jaunts on The Hulk,  I look back on my ever eventful marriage experience and say,

"Amazing! Sure, we've had our share of ups and downs and even some frighteningly rough patches but, wow, let's do it again!"

While my own twenty-two years and counting marital thrill ride has occasionally been more than a little bit jarring, has come frighteningly close to derailing once or twice and gone so far as to have taken my breath away in both good and not so good ways,  all in all, I'm glad that Joe and I took the plunge back in the late eighties.  I'm happy to report that the overall wedded bliss ride, like most on The Hulk, fairly consistently rates somewhere between a well intended high 7 and a glorious, triumphant 10.

Not too, shabby.

Okay, there is that one time when, against my better judgement, I rode The Hulk right after a rather large lunch which was a HUGE mistake, so, every adventurous wild ride hasn't exactly left me wanting to hightail it back to the beginning of the ever winding, unbelievably long and time absorbing waiting line, giddy for more.  Still,  given enough time for lunch to settle, more often than not,  I'm happy to get back in line, eagerly anticipating the chance to embrace every dip and gravity defying whirl, just one more time.

Ready or not, twenty-three years, here I, I mean, we, come.

Hey, that's cool...  twenty-three happens to be one of my all time favorite numbers.  


I wonder what forty meant to the Gore's?  


On second thought, maybe I don't want to know.

Pillow Rock

So often I'm blown away by God's timing.

Yesterday a conversation with my Mom led to an explanation of sorts describing a current spiritual place that I seem required to call home.

This morning, an email from a dear friend described a very similar spiritual location which made me pause for a moment and say, "Well Hello, God.  It seems you've been here, all along."

There are times in life when you may look around and question as to how God could be an integral part of any of it because absolutely nothing in your life seems to be working out for the good of anybody, much less for the good of the God you claim to serve.  Maybe nothing is going according to plan.

The truth is, sometimes when it all seems to be going south or possibly even going so nowhere that you can literally visualize yourself as sitting on the side of the road in a humiliating and frustrating full blown stall, God may be incredibly near.

This curbside place I am in has left me quieted, which if you know me very well, is a bit of a surprise.  Typically, describe a problem or situation and given the think on your feet sort of person that I am,  I'll quickly provide at least five solid possibilities for perfectly reasonable resolve. I am a thinker/dreamer and I love to address uncertainty with a repertoire of creative problem solving.

Lately, tell me a problem and I'll meander for a second or so in my thoughts to the familiar place of five possible answers but then I step back, let go and tell God that while I see these five choices before me, I am certain that he sees way beyond my own limited vision.  For every five answers I can think of, I'm quite sure that God has at least fifteen bazillion or so better options that I have yet to recognize.

Believe me, this step back and wait disposition is not exactly a natural inclination for me in the least. But lately, I am intentionally letting go of what I see as a solution and saying to God, "Sure, I see some possibilities here, Lord, but aside from my own thinking, I'd really like to know what you think and I'd like nothing more than to see the ocean of possibilities that you see."

If you are finding yourself in a place of questioning what in the world you are supposed to be doing and why in the world hasn't this or that worked out the way you had expected, I ask you to remember the story of Jacob and his famous dream of the stairway to heaven where he saw angels climbing up and down between heaven and earth.

When Jacob awoke from the stairway dream he said, "Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it!  How awesome is this place!  This is none other than the house of God; this is the gate of heaven."  Genesis 28.

Dear God,

On that inspiring dream filled night, Jacob had rested his head on nothing more than a rock.

Here I am finding myself in this sort of spiritual productivity wasteland compared with attractive opportunities I've seen in the past and as my aching neck can testify, it definitely feels that lately, my pillow has been something of a rock, too.

I want you to know that I am satisfied with this between a rock and a hard place position that I am in because I am confident that you God, see the intended outcome and all of the roads that lead to the final destination that you have planned for me.

I am good with you taking the driver's seat.

It's funny, it seems I'm finding myself sitting in the passenger seat more and more often.

As I ride along with my baby girl in the driver's seat while trying so intentionally to let her identify what is going on and gain a sense of her own ability to navigate traffic, I am reminded of how I need to let go of the wheel of my own destiny and allow you, the one who sees and knows all, to do the real decision making and mountain moving in my life.

Thank you for friends who are honest with me and share what they are going through so that I can better see my own situation as it really is.  My life is a place where you can be found whenever I take the time to find you.  Even in the shadows, I soon realize that I find you as my single source of light.

Be with my friend who emailed me this morning.  For all who struggle to connect the dots in this moment, remind them that you will without doubt, fear or compromise, complete the lovely, one of a kind picture of who they are intended to be.  You are the ultimate artist and your work always creates something beautiful.

Left to my own devices, I may look in the mirror and see an old dilapidated house in need of extensive work and repair.  But as you look at me, even in this place of uncomfortable stillness that I find myself to be, you may just see a delightful farmhouse with the potential to house, restore and feed many.  You may even see this old house of a self as a future exclusive resort destination like the bountiful Blackberry Farm in Tennessee.  I'd love to be as spiritually productive as a prosperous farm.

So, where I find myself standing today is holy, because I know that you are with me.

You work in ways I cannot understand and your intentions for all who love you are only for good.

Thank you for your love.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsoiI8XhpmY

Friday had a family FAIL

Could You Repeat That Please?

Have you ever started reading and saying to yourself, "Wow, what timing!  This is exactly what I needed to hear..." only to realize that you are actually rereading something that you have somehow forgotten that you read just a day or two before?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Nice.

Anyhow, this morning I reread a devotional excerpt that I had read just a few days before and didn't catch that I was rereading the excerpt from Monday or Tuesday until I was more than a paragraph or two into it and yet somehow,  it seemed to be just what the doctor ordered, for today.
So, I continued to reread the entire entry.

The thoughts were taken from John 11:21 where we read that Martha said to Jesus,

"Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died."

You see, when Martha and Mary's brother Lazarus had become ill, word had been sent to Jesus saying that the one that he loves, is sick!  The sisters had sent these words to Jesus anticipating that Jesus would drop what he'd been doing, come to them and that their brother would be healed, but Jesus had done nothing that they'd expected when he received the tragic news. In fact, Jesus showed up four days after the funeral! Their Lord had let them down.

The girls probably felt a little angry, disappointed and possibly even began to question why they had bothered to send word to Jesus in the first place.  They had believed that Jesus would come to their rescue but it seemed he had blown the chance to be there for them in the hour when they had needed him most.  But now comes the amazing part of the story.  The miracle that they had wanted to receive would actually grow pale in comparison to the one that they would get to receive.

Jesus stood in front of the tomb and told them to roll away the stone and called for Lazarus, smelly old burial clothes and all, to come forth.  After having been dead for four days, Lazarus woke to life.

When we pray, sometimes the circumstances of need that we bring to God in prayer seem to have only one good possible outcome and we wrap the entirety of our thinking around that one possibility that we can imagine helping our situation.  Sometimes, our prayers are not answered as we would like and we say to our disillusioned selves that maybe God doesn't care or maybe he never even heard us to begin with and we then begin to doubt the purpose of anything and everything that we've ever experienced in our faith life and we slowly begin drifting away from God.  After all, if he's there and if he really holds everything in the palm of his hand and has the power to move mountains, why doesn't he just fix every broken thing that we bring to him?

When Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead many hearts were stirred and some who had not believed that he was who he said he was, began to believe.  A sick young man recovering might have been just another take two aspirin and call me in the morning type of healing news while someone being brought back to life, well, that was undeniably head turning and if you ask me,  quite faith affirming.

Sometimes our boxed in God has a big picture plan that our minimum faith charged minds can often not even begin to imagine.

Dear God, Sometimes I pray to you and I line up all of the requests and I line up all of the possible solutions to the requests and I pretty much might as well say to you that this prayer that I am praying is multiple choice.  "Here you go, God, I've made it easy for you.  Pick A, B,C or D and please do that within the time frame allotted for this test so that your answer will receive the credit it's due and boy, oh boy, God, will I ever give you the glory for the whichever right choice that you chose!"

Sometimes, God, I'm just so silly.  I put you in a box with a snug fitting lid and in the same breath say that you are awesome, that you exceed my expectations and that you are all knowing and all powerful.

I'm sorry that I do that to you, God.  You are awesome, you are amazing and all powerful and though I do not always understand why some of the things that seem as if they should work out the way that I can recognize as being good completely fail to come to be, I trust that you have an answer to every problem that will outshine even the very best possible, first choice scenario.  If I just trust that you will always do what is best for everyone, eventually, then I will get to see how incredibly amazing you really are and more than likely, so will somebody else who also needs to see.

By the way, thanks for giving me another day with yet another chance to understand your often mysterious, but oh so wonderful and ultimately loving, ways.

If you have a moment, click the link below and read John, Chapter 11 and allow God to give you your own very personal insight through the story of Lazarus.   If you'd like, there's a fun song to click on from a band,  Modest Mouse, called,  "One Chance" that always makes me think of how I need to let God be God sometimes and take the lid off of the box that I so often tend to tuck him into.  


This song from Modest Mouse isn't a Christian song or anything, but God often uses music, art, story lines and everything else I'd never expect to speak to my heart.  
God knows no limits.  
God is box-less.

http://www.newadvent.org/bible/joh011.htm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVSbZL9ToQM

Smallish Stuff

This morning I sense God trying to get my attention_ hoping to get me to focus on some of the overlooked little things in my life.

Come to think of it, I've spent a whole heck of a lot of energy trying to relax and NOT sweat the small stuff so I'm wondering why I feel the need to shuffle through and bypass the obvious big stuff that needs attending to and crawl around to find all of those pesky little, small things.

I have a confession - I hate dealing with the little stuff. 

The nitty gritty things that make the world go around bore me to death!  

Detail oriented?  Uh, no_ NOT ME!

It's kind of funny, on the outside, people usually take me as being fairly organized.  I must give off that vibe of having it all together.  :o) Heh-heh-heh...   I always feel a little uneasy when this one or that one toots my horn on the subject of organization but I rarely fess-up to being the mess that I really think that I am.

(All of you who are reading who really, really know me - be quiet!  Let me bask in the warmth of what some may actually believe for another uneasy minute or two.)

Seriously, while I can throw a mean dinner party and set a table that might be leaning a little towards the artsy, Martha so fabulous side of entertaining, when it comes to the stuff like did I send in my payment for our Fast Company magazine subscription or was that Rachel Ray's Everyday that I just mailed last week, I'm at a loss most of the time.

I'm terrible with names, too.  Tomorrow night my family and I will be dining at Wolfgang Puck's in Downtown Disney meeting my niece and her fella whom I've yet to meet for the first time and I am already practicing his name so I don't have to make up an on the spot nickname for him in a conversational pinch.  His name is Todd, I keep saying to myself. Todd, Todd, Todd.

Yes, I'm really that bad and you know what?  I'm getting tired of myself in reference to this unorganized issue and I'm pretty sure that God might be getting a bit worn down by my scattered ways, too.

So, with God's help, because I am asking him in just a few seconds, I know that I can conquer this silly below the radar absentmindedness and look forward to a future with less small stuff to worry about because finally, I will have addressed the small stuff and it will be completely out of my life rather than hastily shoved away in our office closet.

Dear God.

Sometimes I am just blown away by how long I can put little things off or barely scrape by but I am confiding in you that I am tired of that part of myself and I see the need to ask for your help and make a much needed change.

I don't expect to suddenly morph into Martha herself, having every single dry good in my pantry housed in identical glass jars with shiny brushed nickel lids, but I do want to be free enough of mind clutter that I can count on myself to accomplish the meaningful things like being able to remember the name of the next new person that I meet for more than a millisecond.

I don't know what you have planned for me in the future but I'm pretty sure that whatever it is, you'd like me to be at my very best so that I can do whatever it is that you have me to do with honor and dignity so that I can ultimately bring glory to you.

I know I'll never be perfect in this life but I'm sure that there's plenty of room for improvement and I thank you for bringing these small things to my attention.

It's going to take a few days to even get a handle on the many smallish things that need to be done around here, but I'm all in, God, or in this case, maybe I'm laying it all out.

Fresh Bread Daily

A funny thing happened in the midst of making dinner last night...

Iz (my husband's nickname) would be getting home from the office a little later than usual so preparing dinner was put off until a bit later than usual, too.  With a few extra minutes to spare during the early evening I'd tried calling my Mom a couple of times, just to say hello and see how she's feeling this week, but her line had been busy so I busied myself with a few household chores.

After tossing in another load of laundry and emptying the dishwasher,  at around seven or so, I put on the water to begin cooking our new favorite, whole wheat, pasta.  It was especially great kitchen time because while chopping some garlic for the quick, semi homemade sauce on the menu, I talked with Mike who was unwinding a bit, playing XBox in the adjoining family room.  I cherish whatever time I get to have talking with my kids.

Just after I removed the pasta from the stove and drained it, Bear-bear (our beloved four-legger) barked his most intense wake up entire world, can't you see that somebodies at the door, bark.

Startled and a little bugged by being interrupted at such a crucial time during pasta dinner making, (you know how the pasta keeps cooking and begins sticking together like a pasty mess if you don't get it drained and tossed with some olive oil or sauce, right away) I begrudgingly peeked my head around the kitchen entry to steal a look towards the front door as to determine which of the kids needed to stop what they were doing to meet and greet the untimely visitors.

My stolen peek left me wondering what was going on through the frosted glass as all that I could make out from where I was standing were three unfamiliar, adult figures.

Grabbing Bear-bear's collar, he and I tripped and scurried anxiously towards the strangers at our door.

With Bear-bear's head peeking out between my legs and the doorframe though firmly blocked from going any further to 'greet' the visitors by my strategically placed protruding right leg, I put on my nicest smile that one digs out from storage for all such stranger meeting circumstances. The folks at the door, one woman and two men of varying ages, wore their very best, let's dazzle the stranger, smiles, too.

Once confirming that I was the correct Renee who had filled out a visitor card,"Trinity", the man in the front continued, "You visited Trinity Church last week and we're stopping by to say thank you for visiting and hoping to talk awhile with you and your husband in order to answer any questions you may want to ask about the church."

While saying his greeting, the front man held out a white plastic grocery bag that had the church's logo neatly printed on it, as if the church were a huge chain like Winn Dixie, Publix or Walmart.  The bag had a neat little card attached with curly red ribbon, adorned with that same logo and a tastefully printed word or two thanking us for visiting the church.

Exuding pleasantries the best I could while greeting unexpected strangers at the door,
holding back my kill them with love dog,
wanting desperately for Iz to pull in the driveway to rescue me
while imagining my pasta now resembling something similar to the surface of the moon,
I chatted away with the bag holding visitors.

I assured them that we were planning to visit again as we are in search of a better fitting church for us, one more like the one my husband and I were raised in.  I told them how much we had enjoyed the services we've attended so far and that we were definitely planning to attend this week, too.

The woman in the group said they should let me get back to my dinner and assured the men that it was a bad time to visit when someone is in the midst of preparing dinner and that they needed to let me get back to what I'd been doing before they'd arrived.

After closing the door, the kids were waiting for me when I returned to the kitchen, loaded with fifty questions re the visit.  We opened the bag to find a beautifully presented fresh loaf of what I think is referred to as potato bread, it's the kind that has that lovely soft white dusting of flour over the top of the golden brown crust.

Prior to the visit the bread for our dinner was going to be finishing off the perhaps a little bit on the stale side but still edible, wholewheat loaf I'd sliced and taken with us to the beach two days earlier.  Following the visit, we would be eating soft and squishy, just like Iz and Mike prefer it, freshly baked, beautiful bread. (Sydney and I are partial to bread that has a crusty outer edge that adds a little crunch.)

What's so big about a loaf of bread showing up at dinnertime and when in the world am I going to get to the point of why I'm sharing this story with you?

Well, for one thing, God knows what we need and sometimes he provides what we need as literally as this loaf of fresh bread showing up at my house while I'm setting the table for a later than usual, pasta dinner.  Sometimes God does things that are incredibly timed and instantly gratifying, like front door delivery of freshly baked bread.

Next, the reason Joe and I are planning on returning to this church is due to the love we sensed among the church members and this bread drop was another example of the kindnesses we saw happening at the church. Before, during and after the service, people were hugging, smiling, waving across the room and huddling together as if everyone actually enjoyed the company of the other.  Young, old and everyone in between seemed to be included in the love fest and quite a few people even extended their hand to us to say hello and they seemed to be doing so because they wanted to rather than because they knew it was the 'right' thing to do.

Finally, Iz and I both had walked away from the service we had visited at Trinity feeling spiritually met in a way that I believe every human being has a humongous hunger for.  It's an indescribable type of hunger other than that it is this type of hunger that can be satisfied for a moment but quickly leaves you wanting to grab a fresh plate and head up to get a second helping, kind of like I always feel after eating Chinese food, I'm full for a while but can always find room to eat just a little bit more.

Thank you, God, 

for the intricate yet simple ways 

that you embed your presence in the days 

of those who express 

their desire for more of you.

Today, declare this: I’ve made up my mind I am not going to waste any of my days. I’m going to celebrate each day as a gift from God.  Joel Osteen

What's God Got To Do With it?

NBC News statistics:  The average adult has a 50/50 chance of surviving a 50-yard swim or 50 minutes in 50-degree water.

It was during this past Easter weekend that two year old Bridgette fell 20 feet into New York's East River's, 48-degree waters. Rescued by her father and a mystery Frenchman who left in a cab upon exiting the water, Bridgette survived the potential tragedy without injury.

As for the Dad's response to the incident, I'm not surprised.

My kids are eighteen and fifteen years old and if they took an accidental plunge into threatening waters you would have to hold me back to keep me from jumping in after them even though I would describe myself as only an average swimmer.  Just the thought of my kids being in harms way pushes a button that defies all common sense.  I know what I'm saying on this subject because I've been put to the test. An adult male neighbor had his fist raised in Mike's face a few years back, without any hesitation I slid between the angry man and my son with absolute disregard for the likelihood that I, myself, could be hit.   Thankfully, nobody was physically harmed in that ridiculous episode though the thought of the man's fist in my son's face, as well as my own, still haunts me.

The response of the mysterious Frenchman is not as easily understood.  The freezing cold water could quickly have taken his life.  Had the father of the child began struggling himself while trying to save his daughter, the Frenchman could have ended up not only unable to assist in the situation but could have lost his own life, too.  

The Frenchman did not know the child and apparently had no ties to anyone at the scene, yet he unquestionably risked his own life for that of another.

I share this story because it made me consider my own willingness to put myself on the line for a stranger.  

I want to say that of course I would have jumped the twenty foot drop in selfless aid of the father and daughter.  

I want to say that I would not have looked around before jumping in to see if someone else would rise to the occasion, first.  

I want to say that the obvious frigid temperature of the water wouldn't have made me reconsider my first instinct to dive in and do what I could.

I'd love to be able to say all of those things but unfortunately, I honestly, cannot.

Since the identity of the Frenchman is unknown, the parents have no way to thank the stranger for his bravery nor do any of the rest of us.

Bridgette's mother was quoted as saying,

 "I'd like to offer him my congratulations and best wishes, and I want to talk to him personally." 

As for me, I would love to be able to tell the mysterious Frenchman how much his no questions asked actions were appreciated by everyone, but as for giving credit for the save,  I believe the gratitude needs to go straight to the big guy_ God, himself.  

For some reason, during this particular weekend, Easter weekend,  these particular incidents happened at this particular place where the self sacrificing hero just happened to be.

Though not mentioned in any of the news briefs, I'm pretty sure that God was at the scene. Like that of the Frenchman, sometimes the acts of God are mysterious, too.

Dear God,

Thank you so much for orchestrating that act of selfless love this weekend and sparing the life of little Bridgette.

From having lost my almost one and a half year old son to cancer so many years ago, I know that you are with those parents who grieve the loss of a child.  Still, for every parent spared that incomparable sorrow, I am indescribably grateful.

Thank you for the mystery Frenchman who reminded me of your own amazing and sometimes mysterious ways.

http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/93542

Perspective Improved!

How was your Easter?  Did you spend time celebrating with family and friends?

Yesterday, my family and I celebrated Easter in a nontraditional manner. Since moving to Florida six years ago, quite a few of our holidays have landed us on the nontraditional side of festivities.  Part of that is due to not living near family. Our closest relative is my brother John and his family who live about four hours or so south of us, near Miami.

Whatever the reason for our nontraditional holiday festivities, I believe this change from tradition has brought Joe, Mike, Sydney and myself, closer.  When the holidays approach, we start discussing how we'd like to spend the day as there are no extended family dinners to attend, no in-laws to please.  After agreeing on the how, what and where, we each gear up for a day of what usually turns out to be a simple and hassle free, pure good time.  Yesterday was a perfect example of our new and improved, nontraditional holiday observance.

We've enjoyed previous Easter's, Father's Days, Mother's Days, Christmas Eve's and NewYears at various attractions like Downtown Disney, Universal Studios, Sea World, Islands of Adventure, City Walk and New Smyrna Beach, and given this previous experience with varied ways of celebrating, we knew exactly how we preferred to spend this Easter. We decided once again to forgo the labor intensive traditional big dinner choosing instead to spend the afternoon relaxing together while enjoying a casual picnic at the beach.  I'm happy to report that our nontraditional celebration of Easter Sunday was not a grain of sand less than absolutely wonderful.

I think the reason for the joy we experience in our nontraditional holidays is not so much about the lack of extended family to accommodate as it is in the decision we've made to focus on our sense of pleasure rather than appearances.  Instead of planning our holiday activities based on what is expected, we now choose  to listen to one another's particular needs for the day.  This time, before the actual holiday arrived,  I could tell that what the DeLeon family needed more than anything else was simply a little away from it all together time spent bumming on the beach, munching on our favorite eat at the beach foods while listening to the sound of the crashing east coast waves behind the bouts of laughter we would inevitably share.

By paying attention to what we really needed to do as a family to celebrate the precious resurrection of our Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ, we spent the day appreciatively basking in the gift of the life that we get to enjoy, today, and the promise of eternal life that we know we'll enjoy, later.

Dear God,
This is the final day of my thirty day journey of blogged prayer and I am overwhelmed by all that you've taught me in this short amount of focused time.  Because of time spent with you each and everyday, I believe that I have a new sense of appreciation for the little things in life, a clarity of purpose in all that I do and an unwavering expectation of the enormous blessings I know that you have prepared for me in the future.

It is hard to explain the empowerment for living a good life that I now get to sincerely call my own.  I see possibility where I once saw dead ends.  I guess I can best describe what I am experiencing through this time with you as a genuine renewal of hope.

Before this journey I was low in spirit.  I felt empty, somewhat lonely and honestly way too needy of approval and acceptance.  Now, though I am constantly hungry to know more of you, I feel a sense of fullness in my life and a newfound ability to see your hand in the simplest of tasks and, because of that, I enjoy a unique sort of pleasure in my days, which I think can be best described as peace.

Today, on this last day of my thirty day blogged prayer journey, I find that my relationship with you means everything to me and that more than anything else, your approval is what I seek.

I know that I didn't happen upon this idea of blogged prayer all by myself.  I know that you led me to this place because an intimate relationship with you is what you knew I needed.  You saw my heart and you guided me towards a 'Y' in the road where I would have to decide if I were going to seek you out in a more personal way or continue on my path of simply just getting by...

I'm thankful that you guided me to this time of prayer and even more, I am thankful that you love me so much that you took the time to see where I was at and knock, once again, on the door of my heart.

In no way do I want to belittle my previous relationship with you because I am grateful for the foundation in faith that has served my spirit so graciously this far.  I just want you to know, God, that I can tell the difference that talking with you each day, personally, using the same simple words and voice that I would speak with when talking to a close friend, makes everything in life look a whole lot greener over here on my side of the fence.   The difference I sense in my life is so obvious that I could easily do one of infomercials where they make the boisterous claims of new and improved with the ultimate promise of a money back guarantee!

The way that I've been praying is similar to the way that my family and I now spend our holidays, as now that I think about it, blogged prayer time is definitely a nontraditional way of speaking with you. But through this nontraditional method, you've given me a perspective that, left to my own devices, I would never ever begin to see, much less, begin to understand.

Whatever is next, God, I'm ready.  Thank you, so much for all you have given and as always, may this prayer be a blessing to someone else.

Easter Sunday - Twenty-nine

No, I did not just turn twenty nine years old on Easter Sunday. Twenty-nine is referring to the fact that today is the twenty-ninth day of blogged prayer in my goal of a thirty day blogged prayer journey.

On the eve prior to my final day, I have to say that this is one of the most bittersweet goals I've ever accomplished.  Yes,  I'm happy to be nearing the thirtieth day successfully, but something inside of me is also, kind of, a little sad.

It's been an amazing nearly thirty days and while it's good to see the finish line in plain sight, my heart's eyes are looking beyond the ribbon, searching for what could, should or might happen next.

As I write this I know the answer to what is next for me.  What's next is simply whatever God has in mind.

It all goes back to that trust thing I think he's been trying to get me to latch onto, I don't have to know much_ I just have to know that I know that God is always with me.

Dear God,
I have to say right away that you now have my full attention and I am so glad. These twenty-nine days have been an invaluable opportunity to dive a little deeper into the crazy way you've wired me and fortunately, I feel pleasantly surprised by what I have learned.

I now own completely... you definitely love me, just like you love everyone who looks for you and wants to know you more.

I now own completely... that you long to have me decide to spend time with you - special time that belongs only to speaking with you about whatever you've so kindly brought  to my attention.

   I now own completely... that there is nothing impersonal or distant about you, God.  As near as I ask you to be, you generously are.

Without hesitation, reservation, doubt, fear or concern in the least, I look forward to tomorrow for I know that you are with me.  For all of the tomorrows beyond day thirty, I wait expectantly on wherever you lead.

My greatest desire for this journey is that these prayers would reach beyond my own needs and somehow lead another hungry heart your way.  I ask that anyone at all who has been moved or encouraged by this blogged prayer time might take this example as an invitation to begin their own personal time with you.  You long to hear from each of us.

As for me, God, on day thirty and beyond, I will continue to talk with you and believe always that you will hear me.  I know that I know, that you God, are with me.

Wherever I am and in all that I do, may my thoughts, words and actions be a delight to you.

The Bigger Picture

Even though today is a day that acknowledges the time that Jesus spent in the grave before miraculously rising from the dead and returning to life in a supernatural form on what we now call Easter Sunday, I still consider this in between day a valuable part of my Easter celebration.

It isn't because of anything that's been overly discussed or anything, in fact it is what isn't said on this day that grabs my attention.  On this barely recognized day that lingers between remembering the death of Jesus on Good Friday and the resurrection of Jesus on Easter Sunday, I'm reminded of the fact that all along, even during that grief filled day when the earth was dark and hopeless after the death of Jesus, God had a plan.

I'm celebrating today because through all of the terrible accusations and hate, brutality, false judgement, suffering and finally murder of an innocent man, the pieces of despair came together and turned out to end in a way that is now celebrated throughout our world as a day that God showed his undeniable power by conquering death!


All along, God had a plan.  For all along, God knew that Jesus would rise from the grave and return to those who loved him and believed.

It helps me to know that there was that time of utter chaos to all who knew, believed and followed Jesus.  They'd been completely brokenhearted and probably felt like giving up, and then he returned to them, just like he promised he would, even after dying an agonizing death before their tear filled eyes.

Ultimately, the blood that flowed from Jesus through his horrible death was part of the bigger picture that brought each of us who believe in him the ultimate promise of eternal life.

So, when life isn't going the way I think it should, I think of Jesus and the bigger picture plan that God had in mind for his son.  I believe God has a unique and special purpose for every single one of us, including you, if you just choose to believe.


Dear God,
It's amazing to me the way that you are constantly giving me ideas of ways to describe what I believe.
I guess it is part of a bigger picture plan that you have for my life that I cannot fully recognize.  I trust you though, even though I don't know the plans you have for me even as soon as next year.

I'm glad that you are now in the driver's seat of my life.  For the first time, the unknown is actually beginning to seem sort of exciting to me.

Where will you take me next, God?

If I keep spending this time praying to you and asking you to be a part of every day from here on out,  oh, the places I believe we will go....

I'm not bragging and you understand that because you know my heart, but I am confident that you have got something good in mind for my future because that is what it says about your intentions for those who love you and believe what is promised in the Bible.  In the verse found in the book of Jeremiah, chapter 29, verse 11.

"...For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, 

"Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..." 

So, in continuing the celebration of this blessed Easter weekend on this 'in between it all day,' I observe this truth you've given me with an open and expectant heart. 

You definitely know what you are doing, God, and wherever life may take me, I am completely thankful to get to go along on this ride.

Oh Good, it's Friday!

If there were ever a day that grabs practically everyone's attention it would have to be Friday. If you don't agree, just take a peek at your FaceBook Newsfeed or a quick glance at Twitter.  Everyone loves Friday and everybody, okay nearly everybody, agrees that there is something that's just downright good about it. As far as days of the week are concerned, Friday is for sure up there in my top three.

Everything in life has a way of speaking to us if we'd only listen and Friday, by just being Friday, has always had a great deal to share with me.  On Friday, my kids get up for school with indescribable ease.
It seems that Friday mornings are somehow less likely to bring stomachaches, headaches or nagging sore throats_ no kidding, it's amazing how well bodied the DeLeon family seems to be on any given Friday.

On Friday, you see, there is this little promise of a good time that comes to us by way of Friday night.  Sure, Saturday night has its perks and without a doubt, Saturday night has proved to be incredibly beneficial for John Travolta and the BeeGee's. Even so, Friday, for me, is usually more eagerly anticipated than Saturday has ever been.

This particular Friday is even more special because this Friday is Good Friday, the day that Jesus Christ, The Son of God,  God himself wrapped in the flesh of humanity, humbly died on the cross in effort to offer a way for us to be forgiven of our sins.

Over the years, the importance of this day has grown tenfold for me because of this one thing,
God chose to send His Son, Jesus in human form so that we could have a clear picture that God wants to relate to us on our level.

He could have kept things distant, being all big up there in heaven, sending floods, parting seas and speaking through burning bushes.  He could have stayed in his comfy lofty place and just told this one or that to spread this word or that to this one or that, but he didn't, he wanted to be down here with us.  He wanted to be down here with us and show that he understands and feels, thinks, hurts, suffers, is tempted, tried, pushed and shoved, just like you and I.

So while Friday, in itself, is always a good day out of the seven that I've openly come to appreciate along with most of you, Good Friday is beyond compare.  Through the sacrifice on the cross on Good Friday, God, through Jesus, said straight to my heart, Renee, I understand.


Dear God, I am so humbled by your love for us, that you would chose to exist in lowly human form just because you want so desperately for us to know that you know.  


Thank you for the sacrifice of Jesus that tells me that you will know no boundary when it comes to making yourself an approachable God who cares about all of the things that way heavy on my heart.


If there is ever a day with an undeniable promise of something better to come for those who believe in you and receive your love into their heart, today is it.  Because of the gift of your sacrifice on this historic day, we each have the freedom that comes through complete forgiveness and a personal relationship with you.


Thank you, God, for knowing that I needed to know that you really do, understand.  


Let my words be a help to someone who didn't know or might have forgotten just how far you've been willing to go in order to show us your endless love.

Face Time

This morning I read an interesting, though not entirely surprising article in the Orlando Sentinel regarding concerns of how the growing popularity of social media venues such as FaceBook and Twitter could be steering us away from good old fashion, face to face time with cherished friends and family.

Some are worried that we're getting so comfortable with hellos, what's up and whatnots occurring via our virtual world that we're not as interested as we use to be in things like intimate phone calls spent catching up and those potentially huge and hilariously entertaining, family reunions.

We're becoming just fine with meeting our new nieces and nephews via Shutterbug, forgoing that once in the little one's lifetime opportunity of snuggling the sugary sweet smelling newborn and establishing that connection that forms when you can say things like, "Why,  I remember holding you when you were just a pup, little Billy."

We're okay with saying, "I Love You, Grandma_ Happy eighty-fifth!" via an e-card rather than making the trip over the river and through the woods to actually celebrate the special day with our precious, one of a kind, not going to be here to hug forever, Grandma.  Heck, we're even skipping the thoughtful trip to the Hallmark store to at least hand pick an appropriate card showing Grandma that we care enough to send the very best!  (Remember that Hallmark slogan?)

In the midst of all of our 'social networking' we're really creating a new way to  disconnect.

Given the lapse of time I've allowed  since the last time my family and I loaded up the van and headed to our hometown up in the northern suburbs of Chicago, maybe, they're right.

I'm curious, do you think we're becoming more and more isolated and distant, forgoing experiences where we interact in person in favor of  keeping tabs via the internet?

Dear God,
I see myself in that article that I read and though I'm more than a little ashamed to say it, I think they are spot on.  As we scurry around being sure to tend to things like updating our status on FaceBook and keeping our Blackberries facing us, glancing down at it continually while we grab a quick bite of lunch with a friend, we're neglecting the opportunities to honestly value the person we're with and the fleeting moment we're actually in.

Some of us are to the point where we would rather write about where we're having lunch so that everyone who isn't with us can wish that maybe they were the ones there having lunch, making the person who is sitting across the table from us so completely annoyed with how we're checking out on them while checking in with the whole wide world, that they might be wishing that they weren't  having lunch with us.  After all, they didn't need to actually be there having lunch with us, they could have just read about it, like everyone else.

The thing is, God, I think that's how relationships with you have been going for years.  Even before all of our virtual methods of connecting we often left our time with you up to the pastor or the author we're into or that fantastic TV ministry that we fit in whenever it's good for our schedule.  When it comes to making time to talk with you, many of us have been relying on everything but personal one on one time  with you in prayer.

That's the best thing about committing to this thirty day blogging time of prayer_ for twenty-six days in a row, I have made special time to talk with you, person to God, and every single day, I have felt that you are here with me.

Right now I ask you to help me never give up this time talking with you each day.  I don't want to get to the place where if my pastor teaches a great lesson on Sunday I feel no need to touch base with you, on my own, during the six days between Sundays.  I do not ever want to go back to that way of impersonal and distant, spiritual malnutrition.

As for the article that I read and the truth that hit me when I recognized my growing ability to post the photos, say the kind words and call it a day, when it comes to really connecting with those wonderful people I'm so blessed to call friend or family,  help me to go the extra real mile.  Anyone that you have allowed in my life deserves a genuine effort  and I want them to know how truly special they are and that I appreciate the chance to know them.

Thank you for opening my eyes, God.  I can always count on you.

A Heart for God's Desire

Some call me a goody two shoes. 

Obviously, they don't know me very well 

because just like everyone else, 

surprise, surprise, 

I have a dark side.

If you're brave, read on.

Right up front I'll tell you that there's nothing sorted or too terribly over the top written here. Hope that doesn't disappoint you.  If I were to write absolutely everything down that this one or that, or especially God, who knows and sees every part of me, happened to witness regarding some of my darker thinking or actions, your screen would immediately get pitch black, making it impossible to read another word.

Don't worry, I won't be going there... for as open and honest as I am trying to be here,
I'm not stupid.

I'm guessing it's the same deal with you.  There is probably a handful or two of people who know practically every less than admirable move you've ever made and some of that handful would be more than happy to rehash every sorted detail with you or anyone else who would listen.  Those same people are the ones who say that they love you, which, speaking from experience, can personally make my dark Vadar-ish side grow instantly darker. That's not exactly a picnic in the park to recognize about myself, but I might as well face it, since it's true.

On the other side of the ever mounding heap of dark yuck is the side of myself that majority of people see.  The other side of me is the side that tries to do what is right, mostly, and sometimes surprisingly, that side of me tries to do what is right even when it's the harder thing to do.

I'm not tooting my own horn regarding this better side of myself, not in the least.  You see, this lighter side of me, this better side that hopefully even more of you come to know, is the product of one thing alone, a desire, in my often divided heart, to know and please God.

That's right, for any good that you find in me, give a heart for God's desire every ounce of credit. Beyond my heart for God there is nothing worthy of a second more of your time.

Dear God,
I am so aware of my need for you. The days upon days that I've neglected to acknowledge my dark side that has often ruled more of me than I care to admit, make me feel unworthy to even begin a prayer to you. Thank you for your graciousness to cut through the mess.

Since praying to you is based on the goodness of who you are and not dependent on any goodness by my own means, I come to you and ask you for the help and light that you are eagerly waiting to pour out to me.

I'm so grateful that you look beyond the good and bad layers of my life and go directly to the heart of the matter, my heart for your desire.

I'm thankful that you know that my heart, confused and misguided as it has often been, belongs to you.  Thank you for sticking by me during those darker days when I could have easily gone either way_ your healing truth and light or the depths of darkness and despair.

Now more than ever,  I'm thankful that I am in tune with my obvious need for you and in tune with what matters most to me, which is that I am real with the truth about you that I know and that I willingly do whatever I can to share it.

I'm thankful for the way that you take my past and toss it aside as if it never existed.  Today is what matters to you God, today and only today.

So, for myself and the untold ba-zillions of others who want to peel back the layers, remind us of your ability to see what really matters.  Remind us that all you ever hope to accomplish in us is that we fully seek to embrace your light.

W2's and other Sticky Subjects

Everything isn't always going to be rosy unless you're one of those people who don't mind walking through life wearing pink glasses.

While I try to look on the bright side of things, every now and then something comes along that threatens my ability to merrily roll along.  Every now and then a potential deal breaker pops up and at once I can feel my body become tense and silently scream, "All bets off!"

Peace stealers come in all different shapes and sizes.  Some come with perfect packaging hiding crummy interiors while others shlep up without trying in the least to hide their joy robbing selves. My most recent peace stealer came in the form of a misplaced W2.

While I am not the most organized person in the world I am pretty reliable when it comes to keeping track of important stuff like insurance policies, major purchase receipts, repair bills, warranties and anything even closely related to tax documents.  In my quest to stay on the somewhat organized side of life, I typically have one location, usually a basket because I love baskets, where I store 'keeper' mail until I have time to actually sit down and file each piece into its appropriate folder or whatever.

So, you ask yourself, how then does such an almost fairly well organized individual misplace an all important W2?

Long story short, in that catch all basket of papers waiting to be filed there was an instance of unidentified bonding that occurred. One envelope of minor importance somehow attached itself to the missing envelope of major importance containing the missing W2.  With the not so important envelope's backside sticking to the front of the all important envelope holding the W2, it was next to impossible to detect the presence of the W2.

Given that I have just described the unfortunate circumstance of the sticky envelopes, I obviously eventually found my much sought after, missing W2.  True, it was at around 12:30 AM but still, the mission was accomplished.

I share all of this to say_

Sometimes, 

the important stuff in life is way too easily overlooked  

Sometimes, 

when you realize how desperately you need the overlooked important stuff 

it can take a surprisingly long while to find it

Sometimes, 

what you are so sincerely searching for 

has been there all along

Dear God,
It's day twenty-four of thirty, so, it's been about three and a half weeks that I've been praying to you in this blog.  In the grand scheme of things, that is practically no time at all.  As you know, it has been years that I have been searching for the best way to reach you and return to that wonderful place of unwavering and satisfying faith.  Come to find out, all I ever had to do to be close to you like I use to be was to take the time to speak with you, one on one, each and every day.  All along, you were just one gentle mention away.

Now that I am here, now that I'm talking with you again, I want to stay.

I don't want to return to the wandering years of restlessness and questioning.  I don't want to return to the reading of every spiritual book that happens to hit the bestseller list hoping to find the joy in life, which by the way, is simply found in personally knowing you.

Thank you again for this prayer journey that you placed on my heart to follow because without this time with you I have no doubt at all that I would still be floundering around in the dessert of life, hopelessly searching for answers to questions that don't matter.

Today, God, I ask that you allow me to be of some service to those who are currently searching for you.

Let me be light to those on the dark path of misguided spirituality who have a hunger for understanding their purpose but who look to false teachings to find it.  So many people post daily horoscopes and lucky numbers and such on FaceBook and Twitter and forward useless chain letters in effort to feed their human desire to understand what life is really all about.  They cling to empty promises as they hope to somehow grab hold of reason or luck...


Please, let me be of some sort of service to these dear ones with hungry hearts who, though they may not realize it, long to be connected to you.

Sometimes, 

we look for meaning in all the wrong places while all along, 

you, 

the One True God and Creator of All 

who declared a time and purpose for everything under heaven, 

have been just one prayer away.

New Smyrna Beach

The idea that God is interested in knowing us rather than interested in whatever gift, talent or ability that we have to bring to his table causes me to think back to this past Saturday afternoon at New Smyrna Beach.

My kids are currently on Spring Break  and needless to say, that means that I am on a bit of a break from routine, too.  Suddenly, there are trips to the store, rides to and from friends, rides for friends and basically just a great deal of additional coming and going happening in our home.

Saturday was a little out of the ordinary in that at around two thirty in the afternoon, Sydney didn't have the next eight to ten hours booked with endless friends and activities.  It was unusually calm and days before, she and I had talked about wanting to get some serious beach time in during the break, so seizing this opportunity, Sydney and I headed to New Smyrna Beach for what was left of the afternoon.

I knew it would be busier than usual, what with Spring Break and all of the tourists and such, but I hadn't anticipated the amount of traffic we experienced.  Both ways, to and from the beach were slow going, which surprisingly, wasn't all that aggravating to me.

On the way to the beach, we listened to a new mixed CD she'd put together for us and laughed at all of the unusual sounds she'd compiled.  On the way home, we continued our conversation that we'd had walking along the somewhat chilly shoreline, flip flops in hand.

We discussed what I've been blogging about and I was able to share with her how much closer I feel I've come to God over the last twenty or so days because of the prayer blogging.  We talked about what I had written that day regarding forgiving our neighbor for the sadness he created and I told her how God had made it clear to me that I had to be free of the grudge I'd not entirely been owning.  I explained how much lighter I felt inside for having given that burden to God.  Even as I talked about it with her, my spirit felt lighter than it had in years.

The beauty of the beach was expected and obvious, I mean, who doesn't look out into sky so blue and endless ocean and feel at least a little taste of awe and wonder?  The beauty I found in the time talking with my daughter that afternoon amazingly out shined the majestic sunlight dancing on the glistening water.

As we talked and talked and talked some more, I could see Sydney taking in the things that I shared with her about God loving us and wanting time with us more than anything else.  I saw her ponder the confession I shared about that grudge and I could tell that everything that I had said registered with her on a level that I'm not sure I've ever witnessed before.

While sitting in that traffic of confused tourists trying to find their way, our continuing conversation led us to an awesome God who deeply loves us, who longs to personally know us just as we are.  In our conversation sitting in tourist traffic, I believe that the God who created all we had just enjoyed at the beach joined us on that journey home and absolutely delighted in the time we shared.

Dear God,

It's hard to describe how closely I felt you on our ride home from the beach the other day.  It was so interesting as I could see that my daughter was listening with a new intensity and I was was talking with a new freedom.

I've known you all of my life and I cannot begin to count how many times I've felt your undeniable love and kindness, but right now, during this journey of blogged conversational prayer, you are closer to my heart than you've ever been and I can sense your continued closeness in even my most mundane tasks.  Because I am asking you to be in my day and be in the lives of those I love and to show us your desires  for us and lead us to a closer relationship with you, you are here and I can't even tell you how good it is to know that you are so near!

There is an old song that we use to sing in church when I was growing up that said you are as close as the mention of your name, and as I call out to you in prayer, I find that song to be one hundred percent true.

I call and you answer.  I ask for you to show your love to my family and draw them into a new and more intimate relationship with you and before my eyes I see your miraculous hand in doing just that.

I know that I cannot manipulate the clock in regard to how, when or where you will further establish your rightful place in the lives of those I love and care about, but I know that you have heard my prayer and that you are active in the hearts of those I pray for even when I am unable to notice.

So, today I come to you and tell you that I trust you in a more tangible way than I ever have before.  I trust you and I am in awe that you love me this much.  I am humbled, God, because I know nothing I do and nothing I can become will ever be deserving of this incredible gift of love that you've lavished on me.  You love me so much because you are God and greater love has no man, than you.

Before I close in prayer, I ask that you draw me even closer because the more of you that I get to enjoy, the more of you I want.

I also ask that for all of the people who stay away from you because they honestly and truly feel they have walked too far away or believe that they have nothing to offer you and deem themselves unworthy, please God, oh please, let them sense in their heart that you love them exactly as they are and that nothing would make you happier than for them to ask for you to be with them, just like you are here with me, right now.

A One Thing, God

It's day twenty-two of thirty and the very best thing to come out of this blogged conversational prayer time, so far, is a very simple idea that I honestly never gave much thought. 


God generously created each of us with unique characteristics, talents, abilities, personalities and the like. Though he does want us to use our precious little selves to bring glory and honor to his name, that's not at all what he desires most. 


More than your talent, more than your clever methods of teaching, more than those great cookies you bake for the bake sale and more than the hours you spend getting the church grounds ready for that upcoming special service, God wants you.  


God just wants you.


No kidding, that's it. The rest of the stuff, like the great way that you meet and greet or the lofty way you hit that high note in your solo, is the icing on the cake that you bring to his table when he has finally captured your heart.  


If you have ever felt as if you can't come to God empty handed, with nothing out of the ordinary to offer him, you can put your self doubt and uneasiness aside because you actually have the one thing that he's always wanted, you.


Dear God, 
Thank you for this simple concept that you brought to my attention today.  The whole idea is that all you really need from me, is me!  That makes it so easy to come to you in prayer because I know that I'm prepared for the occasion because by humbling myself in prayer to you, I'm bringing everything that you want.


You're nothing like anyone I've ever known. With you there are no terms, no conditions, not a single line of unreadable tiny print.


You simply want me, God. I'm the one item on your list that completes your shopping. You don't need me to come to you with fancy packaging or nifty talents, skills or abilities. I can talk to you and delight your heart by just being myself.


Thank you that I see this more clearly now, God.  Thank you that talking with you each of these 22 days has brought me to this place of recognizing these little things that make all of the difference in the world. 


I feel as if I have won the grand prize!


You know exactly what I mean. You see my heart, you sense me joy.  
You celebrate this moment of clarity with me.


All that you want from me, is me and that makes me want even more of you.