It's been a while since I last took a minute to share some thoughts. I'm honestly a little ticked at myself for allowing this latest massive wordless gap but I'll spare you the rambling list of excuses as to why it has been so long.
On second thought, maybe I should share just one of the reasons, or excuses, depending on how you look at things, that I haven't written.
A few blogs back I said something about a quick thank you email I had written to a woman who has recently had the pleasure of opening our town's first community arts center called, "Gateway Center for the Arts."
Gateway is just a hop, skip and jump from our front door and watching the multimillion dollar facility come to be from nothing but a pile of sand to full blown fabulous has been an exciting journey, to say the least.
A family friend who had gotten to know this ambitious art center building woman sometime last year had invited my family and I to join them for a walkthrough tour of Gateway while it was still under construction. It was quite a treat as we were able to hear and see the inside story before the roof was even in place.
I'll never forget
the tour
because
as we cautiously shuffled across the sandy concrete slabs
our guide described each room in vivid detail, so vivid, in fact, that I could hear
the piano playing smooth jazz in the auditorium and I could see the guests strolling around
the gallery, sipping on sparkling glasses of wine and casually talking 'art'.
I'd been elated to be a part of this intimate little tour.
Let me say that again,
I'd been thrilled - downright, thrilled!
You might think that I was thrilled because I had hopes of my families artwork hanging in the soon to be gallery, being discussed over those sips of wine and tastes of cheese while smooth jazz elegantly plays in the background.
True, I must admit.
Yes, yes, I most certainly had been a little excited for those reasons. After all, nothing is better than creating artwork and seeing people enjoy it as they try to figure out something about what you, the artist, were trying to say with the shapes, the color or composition of the entire scene.
Anyhow, the possibility of our stuff one day hanging in this soon to be gallery
was just a small part of why I had been so excited about our new art center.
Maybe you think that I might have been wanting to get a job there since, as you know via a few postings back, my husband's salary took a significant hit and our health insurance premiums increased by a few hundred dollars per month.
The answer to that one is 'No'.
A potential job at Gateway was not the reason I was so glad to see those walls going up.
Now,
you're probably getting bored
with trying to come up with
reasons why I might be so happy about
an art center being opened nearby
so I'll just stop the storytelling prompting
and
tell it like it is.
I was thrilled to see Gateway Center for the Arts being built because just the fact that our little town had conjured up enough money and interest
in the arts to build a multimillion dollar facility
meant one definite, thing...
Art,
really
matters.
It was no longer only about art in Orlando - it was about art here in
beach bumming, Volusia County... in our very own tiny little city of DeBary!
All of the years of creating and embracing, eating, tasting and literally soaking up everything creative that I could get my hands onto was being affirmed as being something that mattered.
The building was proof.
The building spoke to me...
"Renee, if you do your art thing,
people will eventually 'get it'.
Someday soon, they'll understand
that you haven't been chasing an impossible dream
but fueling a very personal call and purpose."
That tour through the unfinished rooms of Gateway
allowed the walls to whisper...
"You just be yourself and put those ideas down on canvas
- let them work their magic! Believe
that there is a wall with fantastic gallery lighting waiting for your next piece
and when it gets your piece - it will be glad
and you'll be glad...
and the people who walk by the wall and look at the piece will be glad...
and the world will be a better place because
you did what you were put here to do."
Okay, maybe that last part about the world being a better place is me taking liberties and putting words into the mouth of the 'talking walls', but seriously - those unfinished walls spoke volumes to me. If those walls could have spoken aloud I'm sure that they would've, but even without actual words coming forth, those unfinished concrete blocks inspired my world weary, creative soul. My artistic spirit felt refreshed - my passionate energy was renewed.
Now, back to the reason I haven't blogged in such a long time...
Like I had said, I wrote this thank you email to the Gateway Center for the Arts Director (aka lady from the tour) after the grand opening that my family and I attended. I simply felt impressed to share that I appreciated the decade, yes decade, of dedication and commitment that it took for her to get Gateway up and running. I told her how much it meant to me that she was building something that would feed our neighborhood children's creativity for generations to come. I shared that our entire family was just a teensy weensy bit on the artsy side of things and that she could count on us to help out in any way that we could. I told her that I was so thankful that she hadn't given up, that she had been determined to see her vision through to the end.
Long story short, my email touched her heart. She replied saying that she liked my writing and that it meant a great deal to her that I took the time to thank her in the way that I had.
A few exchanges later and she asked that I help out with the Gateway Newsletter.
I said, "Sure".
Joe and I got busy on that and then she thought maybe I could take on serving as the volunteer PR person for Gateway, representing them throughout various venues of the media, etc.
I said, "Sure".
A month or so went by and I found myself answering so many emails, calls, etc, all concerning advertising events happening at Gateway. I became so busy with Gateway PR that I hadn't written a word on this blog or for any of my short stories or articles I'd been working on and definitely not a word on the two young adult novels I'd been outlining before all of the Gateway stuff and,
gasp...
I hadn't picked up a paintbrush, at all!
Truthfully, I had made the time to scratch up a bit of freelance illustration work to help us stay afloat after the salary cut and ridiculously outrageous insurance hike - but still, that was for the sake of the bottom line rather than the pursuit of my own creative endeavors. I was becoming angry with myself because I had recommitted, with my whole heart just this past New Year, , to being the artist that God created me to be and not get off track anymore and follow my dream of truly being, 'me' - crazy little, wordy, artsy, got to paint, got to write, me.
So, we still do the Newsletter and a few DeLeon paintings have hung on those mouthy walls, but I no longer do the PR thing for Gateway, not because I don't want to help or that I can't do it, but because I'm not supposed to, and I know it.
I'm supposed to write these little stories and keep you creative types on board with your own aspirations in the arts. I'm supposed to share with you how incredible it feels for my writing or artwork to get accepted here and there and how it hurts when it's not.
Tonight, I'm working with Joe and the kids painting a huge canvas for my son's school. Mike volunteered to provide a school spirit type poster for a special awards ceremony. Mike's a bit artsy, too, and his school has meant so much to him over this past year that he really wanted to do something special to tell the Principal, Teachers and staff, thank you.
We're painting a lion - it's their mascot.
We're doing it together,
The DeLeon's.
(The Lions)
It'll take all night and we'll likely snap at each other a few times over our differing artistic points of view, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
This is who we are...
so I'm living it,
with pleasure.
******************
I'd love to hear about your rabbit trails or meandering paths that have led you either away from or directly towards who you believe you are supposed to be. Write me - tell me about you.
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