About That List...

If you took the time to write that list of what you want out of life or even if you gave some serious thought to the matter of what it is that YOU want out of life... good for you because I know that once the list is written, it will be an incredibly valuable tool to help you get to where you really want to go.  Believe me, if you want to get to where you dream of going you've GOT TO SAY where it is that you're dreaming to go.  Name it and claim it - as some like to chant. The thing is, there is a little more to the value of the list than just writing down all that you want out of life and that is identifying the specifics of HOW you are going to do or be all of those things that you want out of life.  That's right, the list is actually a two parter. 

Stop whining -  because if this 'I'd rather be painting' artist can do it, so can you.

First,  as I shared in my last (rather lengthy) blog entry, you write everything that you could possibly want for yourself out of life and then, after writing the things that you want, you write a sentence or two telling yourself exactly what you need to do in order to make IT (that thing that you wrote down that you said you wanted out of life) come true.  So basically, it's like this;  say, for example, on your list of the things that you want out of life you say that you want to be a good friend.  That's a great thing to want to be, obviously, but it takes more than just saying that you want to be a good friend to ever actually be a good friend.  If you seriously want to be a good friend you need to have a plan of action to help you get to that place of being a good friend.

For example,  if I wrote on my list of what I wanted out of life that I want to know that I have always tried to be a good friend, I would follow that statement of what I want with a statement of how I should actually behave in order to go about being a good friend.  I might write something like...

In order to be a good friend I will take the time to call my friends just to say hi every now and then for no other specific reason than to say hi and ask how they're doing.  Maybe I would even go further and add, when I call for no specific reason other than to say hi and ask how they are doing, I will avoid the temptation to flood the conversation with everything that's been happening in my own life - I will focus on listening to what is going on with my friend.

You can see that after saying what I wanted out of life, which was to know that I have tried to be a good friend, I followed up my want with the action that I will need to either take or avoid in order to accomplish the goal of what I said that I wanted.

Another example might be a specific kind of goal that you want to accomplish like...

I want to start a blog (hmm, nice idea) to share some of the things that I've learned with others that enjoy the process of learning, too.  To support that goal, I might write a sentence such as, in order to keep my commitment to writing a blog and sharing new and important information that I value with others, each day I will be sure to read at lest two or three articles from magazines, the newspaper or on the internet in order to keep my own thoughts and ideas that I intend to share with others through my blog, fresh, supported and relevant. 

So, write something that you want out of life and then follow it with the words to guide you in the journey of specifically how you will accomplish what it is that you want.  It's easy, that is, it's easy once you start.  

The greatest part of this whole process for me has been that now, when I catch myself longing for this or that in my daily life, I automatically ask myself, 'Have I included that goal on my list of what I want out of life?'  followed by, 'Well, if that's truly something I really want, how am I  going to get it?

There are some sweet rewards that you will begin to recognize once you've put the hopes and dreams for yourself into writing, followed by a plan of action of how you intend to get what it is that you say that you want.  The other day I realized that something I'd included in my own list of things that I want out of life was, in fact, being accomplished right before my very eyes. It felt so good to see that I was accomplishing, already, something  that genuinely mattered to me. 

It came to my attention as I was watching a show with my fourteen year old daughter that she and I have been watching together since the first episode of the series.  I had recognized when we had watched the first episode that this was a show that would be good for us to watch together because first,  she really enjoys the show and second,  it seemed to bring up some pretty difficult situations in teen life that she and I would need to talk about but might feel awkward just bringing up out of the blue.

Now, you may be thinking that I must have written some pretty couch potato types of wants on my list of things that I want out of life but let me tell you, this spending meaningful and relevant time with either of my own  'in house' teenagers is not an easy task to accomplish. In fact, it's been my experience that when you crave time with your teens you've gotta grab it wherever you can...

such as during the brief drive to or from school or, while shopping at all of the over priced but incredibly trendy surfer/skater stores for their must have wardrobe items or even while helping them finish that last minute project that was assigned three weeks earlier and is due tomorrow that they've conveniently 'forgotten' to do up until thirty minutes ago, which they shared with you smack in the middle of when you were frantically cooking dinner that needs to be on the table in fifteen minutes if you even think that you've got a chance in hell of watching that DVR'd episode of Oprah discussing hormone therapy with that still incredibly fit Suzanne lady from the old sitcom Three's Company, anytime during the two and a half to three short hours that you call 'evening' or, dare I say it, 'downtime'.

I said all of that to say this, this list of what you want out of life needs to consist of the things that genuinely matter to you and if it matters enough to you to include on the list of things that you want out of life, you need to have an action specified as to how you can actually accomplish this thing that you want out of life.

I'll end this right here so that this blog entry doesn't become the book that you had wanted to read but just couldn't find the time to actually finish.  

By the way, if you have any questions or comments about the list thing, let me know because I believe that we learn the most by the things we share about ourselves with the people that we value.

Oh, one more thing, do take a few minutes for yourself and write the list and be sure to follow each item that you want out of life with a plan of how you'll get what you want.  

I promise, if you write it, you will get there.